today my life begins

heyyyyyyyyyy

as the 2013 came along it's time for New Year's resolutions!!!

I just would like to tell you, I'm really focusing on the psychical side of me this year, also more on the everyday life than a one time experience, so the changes will be bigger. the whole 'sitting home all christmas' got me really thinking of the way I live, you know how loneliness messes up your brain.

oh god here we go:

1. Meet people

it's weird, but lately I don't really have an opportunity to meet anyone, seriously I don't remember meeting anyone new since last summer, it's just disturbing. maybe I should sign myself for some cool afterschool activities? actually I'm going to a new school next year so whatevs

2. Write a book

 when I see people making millions on books they wrote in their young years and then publishing it I think it could be a fun thing to do as a backup, also a great challenge, making up all of that shit.

3. Find a school I will fit in

 well, at first I was 100% sure I'm gonna go to an art school, which is just super cool, but now I'm having second thoughts, I really don't wanna land in a school full of teenage girls, which are just HELL and I feel like I'm going to loose interest to the art stuff once it becomes my duty. I was thinking of going to math-physics, as I love it, but I can't find a school I can find what I want, we will see :)

4. Earn money somehow

some time ago I sold things I made from clay, in the summer I was thinking of opening another blog, only to show stuff for sale, fut the school started and things started to slip away as I had so little time for myself. still interested in the project, maybe I'll figure it out.

5. Don't get leagues seriously

it is referring to school mostly, you know, there's like a assumption that everyone that's having a lot of make up is a hard bitch or that every men dressing nice is a fag, it really creates this wall between people. I'm really hoping to open up, especially for when I'm gonna meet ton of people next year. 

6. Look good
you know, not only I want to have a cool outfit and make up everyday, but also I want to have a healthy looking skin, develop some muscles or sth, painting my nails and having cool accessories.

7. Arrange the time better

the school year was just a mess, I'll try to do everything before I take care of myself, have a calendar for all the school and social stuff, try to work with it.

8. Try to be happy with my life

I often see a movie or hear about other people's life and I just cry on the evenings why my life isn't that cool, I just need to understand that I have some time in life, I'm still young and can do anything I want. it's crucial to focus on having fun now, and then the future comes great naturally.

9. Sew more

since I sown my first dress, I really liked it and it's not really so common in any area I heard of to sell stuff you made or show your projects somewhere, so this might be a way of starting something. btw I finished my second dress few months ago, my friend wants to buy it, which I'm not sure if I should do, so all it needs is a zipper on the back as it has to be adjusted to the body then. 

10. Have a great summer

 my last summer wasn't really spectacular, it was usual,but I want to do something different this year, plan something.

11. Have perfect teeth
well, in a year from now I will have my braces taken off, I'm hoping to withen my teeth somehow.

12. Learn to play any instrument
pretty clear

13. Stand out

I don't want to have huge purple hair or something, I'm thinking more of a way of living, I want to inspire people and don't be another teenage dirtbag and a clone of everyone.

14. Learn how to cook
my sister is probably leaving for studies next year and she was the one who always took care of food, my mom never cooks, so I'll be responsible for my meals. it's funny that I'm 15 and have no idea how to cook.

15. Don't blame myself

 it's just something I realized I have the tendency to do. maybe you can't see it but really often I came ou of the fight thinking I was the one who did wrong, although my brain tells me the opposite. 

16. Get more sleep

this point just HAD TO get on this list, I don't remember a single day I woke up do school all full of energy, I'm having 6-7 (if not less) hours of sleep everyday and it's eating me up, I can't live like that anymore.

17. Talk more
it's actually connected with the above point, I just don;t have the energy to say something I just think about it and then I figure out I might have actually help the conversation. 

18. Keep psychical distance
it might be weird, but I have this thing that I over-engage into usual stuff. for example after I leave a bus I can perfectly tell which person sat where and tell what have I thought about them, just basic over analyzing, I have to focus on the more important stuff.

20. Think less
just think less, do more

21. Be aware of the world
I'm the person which never knows the basic stuff that's happening in coultries. like war and stuff, opening some huge events, I guess I'd have to watch the news more usual.

22. Music up!

not gonna explain that one

23. Look on the bright side of life

 pretty obvious :)

 nothing special this year, really hope to keep some of those.

if any new resolution pops to my mind I'll just edit this post and write it down, I just want it to be on the site on time, it's still 1 day late.

I thought quite a lot about them throughout the passed couple of months, I'll have to make some kind of a poster with them to keep them in mind everyday.....

sooo tired of this post, I slept 3 hours today, byeeeeeeeeeeeee